The Story

"You had it all. Everything they ever dreamed of. And then you threw it all away."
- Doc (David Kelly)

Danny Meehan (Vinnie Jones) had it all - captain of the England soccer team, fast cars, money and fame. He was the all time British hero until he threw it all away. Sacked from the team following accusations of match fixing an England v. Germany match, Danny's final humiliation comes when he is jailed for three-years for drunken assault on a police officer.

On arrival at HM Longmarsh Prison Danny discovers that celebrity gets you no where behind bars. No one likes a looser. It's one thing to have lost a game, but to have fixed a match, particularly when it involved a German victory over England: "In this place you can hold up a bank, rob your old mam, even kill a bloke, but sell your country in a game. It's un-bloody English." Both the guards and the cons make no secret about their feelings for a traitor and Danny looks set for a difficult stretch.

However, the Governor (David Hemmings) has other plans. He's lobbied hard to get the famous Danny Meehan sent to his prison. Despite the money he's ploughed into the Longmarsh Soccer Team the Prison Guards Soccer Championship cup has so far eluded him. Danny is his ticket to victory if he agrees to train the guards, but Danny has already received a warning from head guard Mr. Burton (Ralph Brown) not to accept the Governor's offer. Burton captain's the prison guard team and he doesn't want a prisoner telling him what to do.

The Governor is not amused by Danny's lack of enthusiasm for his offer, and suggests he takes tome to think it over.

Thrown into an over-crowded and inhospitable cell, with spells in solitary and no protection from the hostility of his fellow inmates Danny struggles to adapt to a life behind bars. The only inmates on his side are old-timer and prison lag Doc (David Kelly) and wide boy Massive (Vas Blackwood). It's Massive who helps Danny out of his predicament with the Governor suggesting he train a team of inmates to play against the guards in a pre-season 'warm-up' match. The Governor agrees and Danny looks set for an easy stretch. Match date is set and now Danny faces his biggest challenge - finding and training a winning team from a bunch of unfit, unreliable and unpredictable villains.

Danny and Massive begin their recruitment campaign, but with little success. Sykes (John Forgeham) has seen to that. Sykes is the head con - a big time gangster and prison lifer who runs Longmarsh from his cell. Without Sykes' support there is no team and Sykes has made no secret of his contempt for Danny. As far as he's concerned Danny owes him for all the money he lost on the England v. Germany match.

However, when Danny saves his friend Massive from a beating by hard nut screw Ratchet (Geoff Bell), the tables start to turn in his favour. Winning the respect of his fellow inmates, they show their gratitude by agreeing to join the team. Their ball skills, however, leave a lot to be desired. Danny knows that if he is to get the boys he needs for a crack team he's going to have to go through Sykes, and so he approaches him with a proposition -"You're a betting man. Let your lads play. You can clean up and I'm solid with the Governor. Win win. Or lose lose. You call the result and bet accordingly." Much to Danny's surprise Sykes agrees, but on one condition, he fights one of his boys in an organised fight - afterall he can't be seen to be doing Danny any favours. The fight is something of a ritual at Longmarsh, introduced by Sykes as a means to make what he loves best - a profit. Danny reluctantly concedes to Sykes' conditions.

Danny meets his opponent in a dark recess of the prison, a six-foot, muscle packed Brummie called Ketch (Andrew Grainger) who has made no secret of his dislike for Danny. The fight is a bloody, fist brawl. With their hands tied together they take alternate punches followed by a slug of prison cognac. The first head to hit the table is the loser. Lucky for Danny, he's no stranger to drunken brawls, and after a long and arduous fight he manages to floor Ketch.

With the Sykes boys now on board Danny is determined to build a team worthy of beating the guards. Against all odds he pushes his team into shape, training them to survive 45 minutes each way. The most important training of all however is yet to come. Dirty tactics - what they can get away with on pitch - after all they are a bunch of cons, it's to be expected.

With the help of the infamous Broadhurst Monk (Jason Statham), a psychotic inmate who's recruited to play goalie, and Billy the Limpet (Danny Dyer), a young inmate who idolises Danny, the team are lectured on the dirtiest tactics known to soccer. The Monk demonstrates twenty three soccer deterrents on Billy, from the elbow-in-the-face cruncher to the agonising nut twister.

Tensions run high in the run up to the game. With the screws scheming to put Meehan out of the game, and the cons having amassed damaging information against the guards the match looks set to be a dirty battle.

Match day arrives the battle for supremacy on pitch between the screws and the cons commences. With 4 weeks of professional training behind them the cons look set for victory. But the Governor has an ace up his sleeve. Claiming to have evidence against Danny that could keep him inside for a very long time he blackmails Danny into throwing the game. But Danny has already promised the game to Sykes. Now he must face his toughest battle - let his team down and give the game to the governor or face a long sentence behind bars.

From producer Matthew Vaughn who together with Guy Ritchie brought 'Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels' and 'Snatch' to the screen, comes the re-creation of the 1971 Burt Reynolds classic 'The Longest Yard' - a prison action drama about the battle for victory on a prison soccer pitch.

From Barry Skolnick, making his directorial debut 'Mean Machine' stars Vinnie Jones as Danny Meehan ('Swordfish', 'Snatch', 'Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels'), Jason Statham as The Monk ('Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels', 'Snatch', 'The One'), Danny Dyer as Billy the Limpet ('High Heels & Low Lifes' 2001, 'Human Traffic' 1999), David Kelly as Doc ('Waking Ned') and David Hemmings as the Governor ('Blow Up', 'Gladiator'). The script has been adapted by screenwriters Charlie Fletcher, Chris Baker and Andy Day.

'Mean Machine' also stars Vas Blackwood as Massive ('Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels'), Ralph Brown as head warden Mr. Burton ('Star Wars - The Phantom Menace' 1999, 'Amistad' 1997, 'Withnail & I' 1987), John Forgeham as the head con Sykes ('Kiss of the Dragon' 2001, 'Staggered' 1994), Stephen Walters as Nitro ('51st State' 2001, 'Plunkett & Macleane' 1999), Omid Djalili as Raj ('The Spy Game' 2001, 'Gladiator' 2000), Geoff Bell as Ratchet ('Mike Bassett: England Manager' 2001), Robbie Gee as Trojan ('Snatch', 'The Firm' 1988), and Sally Phillips as Tracey the Governor's secretary ('Bridget Jones's Diary' 2001).